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Viruses, adware, spam, spyware, …..oh the humanity! Every member of my friends and family has enough filth on their computers to put them on the FBI watch list. I actually have a family member (no names) who was so excited that she had won a free cruise according to a pop-up that they went on it.
Process Explorer
So where do you begin?? Well the first and best thing to discover is what excactly you are up against. Microsoft gives away a handy tool called process explorer, available here. With this tool you can check and see what processes (programs) are actually running. Now when you run this tool most of the stuff you will see will look like gobbledeegook, so thankfully you can right click on whichever one you want and do a little google search automatically on it. It will be surprising to see just how many things are going on while your computer is idle. This tool is useful for identifying active viruses running in the background and then stopping them from running.
Once your computer is no longer running the virus programs, you should run a virus scan.In my opinion the best place to get anitvirus is Antivir from the very generous folks at free-av.com. This software is, unlike a certain cruise, actually free. There is one pop-up every time it updates and that is it. Not too mention it works beautifully, and is as good as any pay one I have seen (Norton is the devil!). You can get it right here.
As well you should pick up lavasoft Ad-Aware from here. This gets rid of all the nasty spyware and other things that cause pop-ups, spam messages, and other nasty stuff.
Now I know you want to hop right into and scrub the hell out of your computer.But hold on, a lot of bugs are stubborn and don’t respond well to the process. Instead of running these cleaner programs in an infected environment, we are going to load them in a more clinical place. We’re going to the happy and magical land of “safe mode”! To do this, follow these steps:
Restart the computer
Once the computer turns on begin to repeatedly tap the F8 key
A blank screen will appear with a few options
Use the arrow keys to select safe mode
Your computer will start in Safe mode.
Now ironically safe mode takes a lot longer to start than normal. (I wonder if normal mode is unsafe?) . But once it does use process explorer to make sure that nothing evil is happening to your precious processor and then run a full virus scan with Antivir, and a full system scan with Ad-Aware. Then reboot again and go back to normal windows mode and away from your safe place.
Be sure to allow both lavasoft and antivir to connec to the internet to update regularly, and start doing a system scan right away. Now if even after scanning in safe mode you’re computers antivirus starts going off like the a slot machine on a payout, you may have a virus problem and need more help then it can offer. Send me an email and I will be sure to get right on advanced virus removal as a post for you.
Now that you have defeated the malware and viral filth, it is time to do something about how you found yourself in this compromising position. First let’s stop using bearshare or other file sharing software. If you absolutely must download music and pornography till your eyes and ears bleed, then for god’s sake use this program here. It does all the stuff that those other ones do, but is not evil and trying to make money.
Next, stop using Internet Explorer. Seriously, you heard me, stop using that garbage Microshaft program. I actually like Microsoft (well Bill Gates more specifically), but that explorer program is the epitome of everything wrong about that company. Get yourself Firefox 2.0. It will do almost everything you need (It has a spell checker built in, how cool is that?), and most viruses are written to attack Microshaft products. Firefox seems to get off pretty easy so far. Get it here.
And if you kind of know what you’re doing, or your internet company doesn’t hate its customers like mine, then try out Thunderbird by the same awesome guys as Firefox for the exact same reasons. It’s an email program with a junk mail filter that is magical. You heard me, I said magical!
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